Three days in a row crying at
work. I wouldn't call this a productive week. Rather a
counterproductive one. Once again, I poured the ill-being on my boss,
who is nice enough to listen to the irrational word flow coming from my
mouth but emotionally restricted too much to understand my world. Same
time I'm hoping to control myself to the extent I won't get fired and
yet signal my true bitchy honest nature as much as possible. It is a
mere miracle that I haven't yet suffered a heart attack. The work is
stressful but only because of my tense over-emotional obsessioned
thinking.
Does unfair behavior have any limits? I definitely
don't wish to meet the limits but why I'm then taking it to a ever
higher level of impoliteness. Mistreating the dearest one. Why? Because
I don't want to hear a truth? Or I don't want to progress? Or the
obsession to an obsession has become an obsession? Anyhow, he deserves
so much more. I keep excusing my emotionality and intuitiveness -
though he is really the same sensitive soul. The closet crying and the
mistreating have to stop. Because it is weird, they are both weird. As
he said, once again, he said it.
*Acknowledgments of the day: man by the copying machine
perjantai, 13. tammikuu 2006
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